how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
