His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i don't like sucking hair
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
