this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
