ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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