I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
