I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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