worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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