How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
