The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
