the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
