omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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