This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
