Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
