whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
