3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
