Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
