the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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