she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
