I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
