idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
