wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
