Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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