sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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