My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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