i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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