Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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