how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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