My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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