i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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