I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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