We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
