Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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