I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
