I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
