She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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