you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
