one two three fourrrrnication!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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