I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
