you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
