I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Non-Jews are for practice
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
