Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
