Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
