you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
