At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
