she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
