literally had 100 drinks last night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
