She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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