I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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