i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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