youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
