They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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