I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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