i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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