At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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