I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
