am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
