never play flip cup with pint glasses
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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